I failed. Let’s just get that out of the way. I failed my board exam. An exam that I never wanted to take, but did so because of my family. Yeah. But as I was talking to Shannon and looking at the wonder of Ava’s eyes, I knew that this would get me to where I wanted to be alot faster than all of the things that I’ve done in the past.
But with all the dedicated studying, sacrifice, head games and determination, I failed. I failed by 7 problems. If I would have gotten 7 more problems right, I would not be writing this post. I would be a rockstar in the office and telling my stories to others how I fucked that big bad p.e. test. But no. I have been telling others how bad the test fucked me.
I’m a big believer that failure is your friend. We fail at many things each and everyday. Most of the time when we think we aren’t failing, we are failing. We are so so damn scared of it. Not me, though. I look forward to meeting my friend and talking things over with him. Even though he isn’t a nice guy. He is insanely honest. Doesn’t bring flowers to the meetings and at times is a dick. When it’s time to tell me how shitty I am he just gets down to his assholey-self of telling me how he beat me and points out all of my weaknesses. He doesn’t give me any praise for what I did right. He doesn’t give a shit. Not at all. His only job is to tell me that I suck and that he looks forward to beating the shit out of me the next time around.
He does allow me to ask questions. Which I appreciate. I sometimes have a laundry list of them. Most times I just take the smack down like a man and after failure has left me alone I go cry in a darkroom.
Why did I force myself to come to this networking event?
This young professional networking event.
No one is acknowledging my existence.
I rushed to my apartment after work to iron a fresh collared shirt and dress slacks. I even had my loafers professionally shined. I took a shower an hour ago. I brushed my teeth for three whole goddamn minutes. I have my favorite fragrant deodorant plastered under my armpits.
I don’t have a pout on my face……………………………….I’m sure of it.
WHAT THE FUCK
Then, if it’s not me, what can it be?
The journey. Is everything.
I’m in the process of picking my business venture. I’ve talked to my mentor about it and he suggested that I right down each of the pros and cons of each idea. I’m doing that now and it is going well. I think I’ve already know which one I’m moving strongly to, but I’ll let the experiment play it’s course. With the three choices, the thing that is driving my decision more than anything is the journey. The journey of the actual business venture, not the destination.
In business, the main destination factor is the money, the profit. Some other destinations that are as important are: fame, helping people with the profit made and of course helping solve the client’s needs. Those are end goals, you see. It’s the carrot that we reach for all the time. It is the measurement of our own defined success.
But, what if we knew, with logic and confidence, that we were going to have all of those destination items checked off—how would that make us feel? Where could we go from there? Well, I think the answer is simple. We would figure out how to enjoy the moments leading up to the destination even more.
Everything that I do now, I look at the process. I look at the various steps that are needed in order to accomplish the goal. Most of the time, the end product doesn’t matter. It’s all about how I feel during the journey. The reason why the journey is the most important thing to me in the life of the idea, business and anything else that I do, is because that is what’s done the most.
Just like in my various hobbies, I enjoyed the process. With coffee, it’s about the process of selecting and grinding the beans, preparing my hot water, making sure I warm my half and half, getting ready to time the brew time and mix in the coffee and water together. See, the drinking of the coffee is more secondary and truly is the cherry on top of the cake. But the whole cake is the journey to get there. I’ve done this analyses with pizza making, with writing, with being in the moment with my wife and even in mediating.