Alone Time, We All Need it From Time to Time…

I got more than I wanted alone time this past weekend. I spent some time with my girlfriend, her friends and family, my family, and tons of time with myself. I was able to finish up a book that came along better than it started and cleaned up my apartment. I was also able to talk to my neighbor to address the noise I was hearing and at times feeling (damn sub-woofer). I talked to my older brother about what he has been up to and spent some good alone time with my dad at their house and later in the day at my place. I saw my uncle and my aunt to give him some money for my paintings he is going to do for me and to simply get his long-winded conversations in person. The weekend was a good one and I learned so much about myself: How I am still working on being patient with myself and other people. I also, got to understand the female way-of-thinking and where I stand in the whole dynamic of a relationship. But more than anything I spent some good time by myself.

I haven’t spent this much time by myself for a long time. I can’t really pinpoint when, but this weekend I was able to see old family friends I haven’t seen in some time. I was able to drive around. Yep, drive around. As crazy as that sounds, whenever I was in college and also my first couple of years out of college I used to drive around. Sometimes I needed to clear my head, other times I would just do it because I didn’t feel like watching television or play video games. I also used to race my car around a track (more like a parking lot) a couple of times per month. I had so much fun because I wasn’t in my head, I was concentrating on the next turn, when to brake, or accelerate. I couldn’t get enough of it and would also perform my craziness on the streets (I know it wasn’t the sanest thing to do, but still fun). I still have a heavy foot and at times get bitched at by my girlfriend and other friends and family members (although my nephew loves it). But, as I was driving and enjoying myself I was concentrated on the drive and the people around me. I was listening to some easy playing traffic or driving music, Californication, and really just enjoyed myself.

I thought to myself, after every time I got out of the car, why haven’t I done this in such a long time? Why did I let this passion, hobby, or excitement die? It has always been in my heart and I think about it constantly and whenever I get a chance to get on the gas and not worry about the gas mileage I’m wasting, it is a feeling that is up there with me playing basketball (especially when I’m on fire, which I haven’t done in some time also), and having some great sex with my girlfriend. One thing I have been doing lately is staying out of my mind and living in the moment and these 3 experience I have listed are me living 100 % in the moment and not worrying about yesterday and the coming week.

So what I learned this week was to, of course, live in the moment, but also rekindle an old hobby or visit an old friend that brought joy to me many times in the past. Take these lessons I learned and see how your week comes out.

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Everybody is Lost…

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Everybody is lost. Everyone. No one is left out of this discussion. From the 6 year old who is developing his character, but is held down by his/her parents rules to the 60 or 70 year old who isn’t done living and wants to do something different in their lives. Everyone, every single person is lost. It is important to have goals, dreams, and deadlines for our lives, but why do we have to be so rigid with life? For the most part our lives are determined by other people, our decisions to do for ourselves, and the pure luck of going outside and doing with a non-determined mind (letting the wind blow us in the direction she wants us to go).

Every since I got out of school I have been trying to figure out what makes me move, who I wanted to be like, where I wanted to live and so on and so on. I bought business courses, read tons of books, tried skiing, traveled to Japan, and did things I thought I was interested in. I talked to friends, I looked at all the people I came across in my life to see if they knew the answers and way to live life. It seemed that this over-achiever in college had everything figured out, but they were busting their asses off at a job that they would soon lose a year or 2 later. Only to find out they didn’t want to do the job they put their heart and soul into.

When it comes to what we want out of life, it is the change. The change to continue to do what we feel and think is the right way to “our” happiness. Why do we worry about having everything figured out? That question is one that is in constant motion. We have to be willing to listen to our voice inside and no when the bullshit is creeping in.  Because as our lives change, our thoughts and self worth change. Once that happens we are lost again.

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