Story Mode

Life is good, life is great. Family doing well, have great friends, and my career is going in the right direction. I love going to work because I like to use my skills to better the human race. When I wake up in the morning I do my usual routine of washing my face, brushing my teeth, taking a shower, putting on my clothes, waking up my 10 year old son, getting the pot ready to make coffee, and turning on the television to check the traffic report. This process that I do for 5 days is mindless, I don’t really cheris my time much, I am always on the move to get to work at an early time to please the boss. I am scared and frighten of all of the people losing their jobs in this low performing economy. I know that after a hurricane and moving to a new building for work I have to do my best in the projects that I over. I have to get there earlier and stay late. I have convinced my husband to take the kids to school because his job is very secure. I have to kiss ass, I have to do more work then everyone else, and I have to work 3 hours extra without getting paid for it. I’m loosing my mind and I am not being honest with myself about what I really want to do with my life. All I see are bills; long hours at work; taking care of kids; going to church; and putting on a fake smile in front of friends, family, and co-workers. I’m so damn exhausted, I sleep like a baby on the weekends and then I repeat the same typical ordinary and habitual schedule. Again I’m not being completely honest with myself and I am blinded by the signs that will ultimately destroy my self-esteem for who knows how long.

The next day comes and I am back on my grind. My boss walks in with this sadden, but calculated face. I know something is up and I just hope that it isn’t me. I love my co-workers, but dammit it is survival of the fittest and I only care about if I am here another day. I look around the office, which is a sea of archipelagoes of white picnic tables with computer monitors and cpu’s. I also see empty boxes spread out and my only guess is that my stuff or somebody else’s belongings will fill them. They will be filled with shit that people used to do their jobs with pride and dignity.

I’m just waiting and hope to God that I’m not called in. My boss calls me in! As my boss was telling me that it wasn’t me and only the struggling economy that is making the company come to these measures; I stop listening and think of all of the signs that were in my face that I ignored, all of the other people that left and found a job that suited them more, and all of the fucken hours that I poured in this damn company for free to now be given the opportunity to fill this box with my job attachments in front of everyone. I stopped pity words coming from my boss’ mouth, got up, filled up that box, and left.

Reality

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When I woke up this morning I was thrilled and ready to start my day. Of course I was happy with the outcome of the election, but I really did feel different. I talked to my co-workers, said hello to people in the hall way, and went on with my day working as I did any other day. I felt that I could conquer the world and by my own terms alone. I believe that is what this election has done for me as an American. Ever since I was a little kid growing up my mom always told me to be the very best in whatever I want to do in life. “Be the best teacher, the best garbage man out there, my mom would say. I never took that for granted and continued to move through the world with self-motivation and the will to challenge myself.

Listening to Barack Obama’s speech late last night and waking up in the morning my attitude about choices changed. A black man(I know that he is half white and was raised by a white family) is the elected president of the United States of America. Even though I personally can never be president of this great nation, the election still gives me even more motivation to make and exceed my goals and be a better human being. I think of myself as a very ambitious person and will do what needs to get done on whatever I set myself to do, but knowing that it is possible for a black man to be elected to the highest honor accomplishment is fuckin amazing.

I was talking to a friend earlier via email about Barack Obama, we got to talking about what this means for the rest of the Black American population. I instantly thought that we as black people can’t depend on Barack to come to our rescue when we need something (the government can only do so much), but we have to take responsibility in our lives; we can’t bitch and complain about somebody not treating us right (racism will always be here regardless of who is in the white house), we have to ignore all of those negative criticism, learn from the constructive assessment, and make the best of what we got and continue to improve individually; and we as Americans can come together to laugh alittle, play, compete at work and whatever else, and grow as we make a strong effort to be a great nation.

While I was riding the bus home from work I decided to read a blog post, from Mark Cuban. He was writing about the election and what he believes what will happen because of it. As I read each word I became more aware of what I have been feeling the whole day. I begun to realize that there is nothing that will stop me in doing what I want in life and that I will continue to motivate myself and to give other people that encouragement and do whatever they want in their lives.

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