I failed. Let’s just get that out of the way. I failed my board exam. An exam that I never wanted to take, but did so because of my family. Yeah. But as I was talking to Shannon and looking at the wonder of Ava’s eyes, I knew that this would get me to where I wanted to be alot faster than all of the things that I’ve done in the past.
But with all the dedicated studying, sacrifice, head games and determination, I failed. I failed by 7 problems. If I would have gotten 7 more problems right, I would not be writing this post. I would be a rockstar in the office and telling my stories to others how I fucked that big bad p.e. test. But no. I have been telling others how bad the test fucked me.
I’m a big believer that failure is your friend. We fail at many things each and everyday. Most of the time when we think we aren’t failing, we are failing. We are so so damn scared of it. Not me, though. I look forward to meeting my friend and talking things over with him. Even though he isn’t a nice guy. He is insanely honest. Doesn’t bring flowers to the meetings and at times is a dick. When it’s time to tell me how shitty I am he just gets down to his assholey-self of telling me how he beat me and points out all of my weaknesses. He doesn’t give me any praise for what I did right. He doesn’t give a shit. Not at all. His only job is to tell me that I suck and that he looks forward to beating the shit out of me the next time around.
He does allow me to ask questions. Which I appreciate. I sometimes have a laundry list of them. Most times I just take the smack down like a man and after failure has left me alone I go cry in a darkroom.